sometimes we forget

there are times in our life that everything seems to be going just quite well so we tend to forget what life is really all about

i admit, i'm guilty of that crime, who wouldn't? i've got everything that i want right here where i want it:
1. i''ve got a great job with a good salary and fringes
2. i'm cool with my barkada relationship with my mother
3. despite all my friends being uber bc, i still get to talk and see them once in awhile
4. i've got a bf who loves me soo much and who's the epitome of all that i've ever dreamt of in a perfect-mate

who could ask for more, right?

but of course, life has it's way of pulling you back into reality and biting you in the ass when you least expect it.

this whole week, i've been sick and up to this minute i'm still not sure as to what this is.

it started last tuesday, when i drank a cup of hot coffee from a vendo machine. after 30 minutes, my stomache began to hurt and mind you, it was friggin painful. it didn't stop there, i was in utter pain the rest of the day until that night that i had to be rushed to the ER so that they can relieve me of what i was feeling...eversince, i have been drinking alot of medicine and i began my venture into guinea-pig land wherein the rest day for me is getting my blood examined and drinking 2 tablets of iron a day

i'm still in utter disbelief that this is happening to me. i mean seriously, i think i'm in denial stage right now. it's not because i don't want to get sick but maybe i'm afraid.

i'm afraid that this might be more than just a simple stomache ache. that they might find something wrong with me and if they do, what will happen next. i've never been afraid of piercing, blood extraction and the like. hell, i've even gotten 4 of my wisdom teeth taken out at one time and i didn't even cry about it. but this is different

the doctor tells me that this might be some acute stomache whatchamacalit or perhaps appendicitis. sure, they sound simple enough to explain to me but lo and behold that when the doctor informs me that both of them would require operation, i held a very sturdy upfront but deep down, i was panicking. i've never had an operation in my entire life and i don't want to start now

ok, ok, i know that when you get operated, there is such a word as anesthesia but even if, i'm still freaking out about it. i've never had any part of my body ripped open and be observed by a group of medical practitioners while deciding what organ to connect to the other. i've never had something this major and probably, what i can assess as dangerous...

maybe some might say i'm overacting, specially those who've had a hand in a major operation already (heart, brain, whatever organ) but can't a girl be scared for once?

i feel more than pain in the pit of my stomache but more of a gut wrenching fuzziness spreading the warmth inside. i just dunnoh what to say anymore. honestly, i blogged right now to ease the tension and all the bad thought swimming in my brain but i'm not sure if it's helping me because after this whole entry's over,it's still the same

i'm frightened...

catching myself by surprise

well, it's a monday and it's the first one after holy week, after a very long weekend of staying at home

and it's a shock that despite my boring existence over the holidays, i still decided to take a vl today. guess it's a force of habit, afterall, i've got tons of vls that i have to finish (according to hr that is) too bad these leaves are not convertible to cash or else i'd get alot by the looks of what's left in my attendance form. hehehe

hmm, not much to say except that today was very hot...scorching...seriously, it's like i was in the beach minus the sea and the sand but with the gallons of perspiration all over my bod. not to mention, i was the only person at home, all my friends were at their office, working their butts off.

i was sticky all over, thank god for our shower, i was able to enjoy the rest of the afternoon with the fresh feeling that i had but of course, that took showering twice instead of the usual.

while i was hangin here in my room, i realized that summer will soon be over and i haven't had any near the beach action yet. well, i did go swimming but i'm not sure if that counts because i only swam in 2 hotel's swimming pool and i went to highlands and took a dip in their pool. it's not exactly what i was looking for, i've always wanted to have some summer escapade where i'll be stayin in a beach, enjoying the scenery, walking barefoot on the sand, flicking water at my friend and not having any care in the world...

i think that won't happen anymore or it's just wishful thinking on my part because i still don't have anybody to go with. excuse the sarcasm, but it seems like everybody's too friggin engrossed in their own life that they've forgotten about lil ol me...tsk, so much for having friends

in any case, while i was here in my room earlier, wallowing in self pity, i've decided to take pictures of myself (again, for the nth time) and that basically occupied me until the afternoon when i had to go out and meet my mother already.

since, i'm here posting a blog, might as well, share a photo with you guys...

suman anyone?

well, in connection to my earlier post, i went to Bulacan last maundy thursday and much to my surprise, i did enjoy the whole 4 hours i spent there...
ok, ok, some might ask what the meaning of that whole sentence but sorry to say, it's a long story and i'm in no mood to tell it right now

all i know is that being there somehow brought me to the simplicity of life. when you go to places outside manila, you sometimes see that people there are different: they just live life to the fullest and enjoy the whatever goes along there way

just like my tita...when we got to the house, she was basically on the front of the house with her hair unkept and not a care in the world. all she wanted to do was make her homemade suman amidst the voice of the man who was singing the "pasyon" in the nearby chapel

truth be told, what she made was really good and it inspired me for the rest of that day. this is the reason i took photos of the suman she made. to remind me that once in awhile, i should sit back relax and not worry about my savings :)

holy week is a time for yourself

it's been eons since i last posted here...literally it's been 3 months actually

a lot has passed

well, nothing really outside the ordinary, just the same old stuff happening in my life except of course, my car got wrecked last march and up to this instant i'm still having it fixed. well, outside the fact that i got pissed initially, i've gotten over it and moved on...by commuting. hahaha

at this instant, i'm just chilling in my room, enjoying the utter silence (thank heavens my nieces and nephews are not around to pester the hell out of everybody!)and listening to my fave r&B songs. ok, ok, not really mine, more like my bf's...he's the one who's been downloading music from the net and handing em over to me. thank you so much sweetie, without your utter love for music, then i'd be desolate right now...

too bad your not here though, we could have encountered the holy week together while throwing jokes and "hirits" to one another aside from cuddling and holding hands, of course *wink*

well, i'm making the most out of it...you can say that again, this is prolly the weirdest holy week ever coz i've been bonding with my mother...we went to Bulacan yesterday and today, we watch like 2 dvds together. i guess, i have been pining for company since it's like 4 straight days of no work and pure fun...

hmm, i think it's time to end this entry, my mother's calling me for dinner.i'll try to log in later

buhbye! :P