well, as the title goes. sorry for all the shit that i'm putting you through lately...
i think i better learn to keep my mouth shut from now on
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
mortified confusion of some sort
referring to a previous blog entry of mine wherein one of the companies that i applied for decided to place the position on hold and told me like after 2 months of waiting for the result...this is a continuation of that scenario.
so i was all set to wait and prepare for my orientation this friday, picking out clothes, preparing my organizer and mentally thinking of happy thoughts that will enable me to smoothly finish my "first day" and this happened...
i woke up at around 10:45 in the morning today, maybe this was brought about by my whole escapade at trinoma yesterday or something else but all i know is that i was extremely tired like a lump of log and i woke up after 11 hours of sleep. well, not to mention the fact that i woke up earlier at 5 in the morning because i was having a very deep asthma attack and i couldn't contain my coughing and runny nose ( i began to develop the problem this morning all of a sudden) so what I did was to wait for it to subside before going back to bed. this was, of course, after thirty minutes of waiting while sitting down ( most asthma pips would understand why i had this difficulty of getting back to sleep during my attack and can definitely empathize with me) on my bed. after quite some time, i was finally lulled back to slumberland and that's where the extra 6 hours of sleep came from.
back to my point; there i was feeling dazed and definitely yawning my whole mouth out when i looked at my mobile and saw 8 miscalls and 2 text messages. well, the first text was dispensable because it was just an advisory from Globe about some contest whatsoever (what's new, they usually have tons of ads that they send out every now and then to different mobile subscribers) but the other one was quite baffling. it was of course from the previous company that i applied to (remember the one which the HR officer informed me that the position was on hold?) the message stated that she wanted to talk, well, that is apparent from the 8 miscalls which was logged on my phone, right? this whole scene actually irked me because a brief flash back of what transpired earlier this january during my application process again popped into my mind. the whole drama of wanting this job so bad and almost pleading to them to ask for results and ending up with an open ended answer really brings my blood to a boil.but true to my word, i really wanted to join that company badly and even if i was pissed out of my existence during that moment, i still had the decency to write an email to the HR officer and say my thanks about the so-called "wonderful" application process they have delivered and even asked them to take note and place my CV in their active folder's file...
so much for my reminiscing, back to the present. since i am naturally a very amiable person and i really do not hold grudges no matter how disparaging the whole system or situation is, i still had the courtesy to return this HR officer's call to ask her on what the matter, this time, is.
i opened up the conversation with my usual bubbly self and my sweetest voice ever and tried to probe on what the matter was why she texted me out of nowhere. well, to say that i didn't expect a job offer right there on the spot would probably be absurd. i mean, why the hell would she bother to call me 8 times (til her fingers drop out...) if it was purely nothing and she just wanted to say hello? so, of course, she blurted the whole situation with common frankness and told me that they are considering me for the post and that the boss there is already expecting me. talk about major disappointment on my part...ok, hearing me say that is actually surreal. i guess i'm feeling disappointed because of the fact that this whole job offer shit is " a litle too late' already. i tried my best to continue expressing myself in my usual tone of voice while talking to this HR person but in truth, i was falling apart and was dumbfounded. i even do not know how to react because i was utterly speechless
well, thanks to my continued silence in the conversation, she realized that i was quite not into the whole thing. gathering my wits about me, i told her my situation of starting in another company and reminded her that i did inform her earlier about my plans of accepting another job offer if they would not hire me. she then asked on how the situation can be treated and i immediately told her that in all honesty, i am very much interested in their company but the fact remains that it is quite embarrassing for me to drop the other company like a hot potato...in as much as i want to join them, it is extremely difficult for me to back out on my word because the people there are quite nice and doing so would be unethical... my pleas of speechlessness fell on her deaf ears because despite everything i said, she continued her persuasion that's why i was prompted to tell her that maybe the salary and benefits package would determine whether i can join them or not. she then proceeded to ask me how much i was getting and all the other benefits in stored. i obliged by telling her what it was and then asked her if its possible to for them to somehow exceed or meet me halfway in that area. she answered me by saying that she will have to check with her boss...this placed a smile on my face. hehehehe
i'm sure most of the readers here would ask me why that whole statement placed a smile on my face. for one, having her rethink on offering me the job would actually be an advantage on my part, i would know on how much they can offer me in terms of compensation and at the same time, i would also know on how much they want to hire me. if she can match my current salary range or somehow (by force of luck) make an offer more than my current one, then this will prove that they have indeed decided to get me at any cost possible...
currently, i'm trying not to think about it anymore. i mean, seriously, i don't want to hassle myself over this fucked up sitch anymore. i'll just throw caution to the wind and let my fate lead me where i'm supposed to be... *sigh*
so i was all set to wait and prepare for my orientation this friday, picking out clothes, preparing my organizer and mentally thinking of happy thoughts that will enable me to smoothly finish my "first day" and this happened...
i woke up at around 10:45 in the morning today, maybe this was brought about by my whole escapade at trinoma yesterday or something else but all i know is that i was extremely tired like a lump of log and i woke up after 11 hours of sleep. well, not to mention the fact that i woke up earlier at 5 in the morning because i was having a very deep asthma attack and i couldn't contain my coughing and runny nose ( i began to develop the problem this morning all of a sudden) so what I did was to wait for it to subside before going back to bed. this was, of course, after thirty minutes of waiting while sitting down ( most asthma pips would understand why i had this difficulty of getting back to sleep during my attack and can definitely empathize with me) on my bed. after quite some time, i was finally lulled back to slumberland and that's where the extra 6 hours of sleep came from.
back to my point; there i was feeling dazed and definitely yawning my whole mouth out when i looked at my mobile and saw 8 miscalls and 2 text messages. well, the first text was dispensable because it was just an advisory from Globe about some contest whatsoever (what's new, they usually have tons of ads that they send out every now and then to different mobile subscribers) but the other one was quite baffling. it was of course from the previous company that i applied to (remember the one which the HR officer informed me that the position was on hold?) the message stated that she wanted to talk, well, that is apparent from the 8 miscalls which was logged on my phone, right? this whole scene actually irked me because a brief flash back of what transpired earlier this january during my application process again popped into my mind. the whole drama of wanting this job so bad and almost pleading to them to ask for results and ending up with an open ended answer really brings my blood to a boil.but true to my word, i really wanted to join that company badly and even if i was pissed out of my existence during that moment, i still had the decency to write an email to the HR officer and say my thanks about the so-called "wonderful" application process they have delivered and even asked them to take note and place my CV in their active folder's file...
so much for my reminiscing, back to the present. since i am naturally a very amiable person and i really do not hold grudges no matter how disparaging the whole system or situation is, i still had the courtesy to return this HR officer's call to ask her on what the matter, this time, is.
i opened up the conversation with my usual bubbly self and my sweetest voice ever and tried to probe on what the matter was why she texted me out of nowhere. well, to say that i didn't expect a job offer right there on the spot would probably be absurd. i mean, why the hell would she bother to call me 8 times (til her fingers drop out...) if it was purely nothing and she just wanted to say hello? so, of course, she blurted the whole situation with common frankness and told me that they are considering me for the post and that the boss there is already expecting me. talk about major disappointment on my part...ok, hearing me say that is actually surreal. i guess i'm feeling disappointed because of the fact that this whole job offer shit is " a litle too late' already. i tried my best to continue expressing myself in my usual tone of voice while talking to this HR person but in truth, i was falling apart and was dumbfounded. i even do not know how to react because i was utterly speechless
well, thanks to my continued silence in the conversation, she realized that i was quite not into the whole thing. gathering my wits about me, i told her my situation of starting in another company and reminded her that i did inform her earlier about my plans of accepting another job offer if they would not hire me. she then asked on how the situation can be treated and i immediately told her that in all honesty, i am very much interested in their company but the fact remains that it is quite embarrassing for me to drop the other company like a hot potato...in as much as i want to join them, it is extremely difficult for me to back out on my word because the people there are quite nice and doing so would be unethical... my pleas of speechlessness fell on her deaf ears because despite everything i said, she continued her persuasion that's why i was prompted to tell her that maybe the salary and benefits package would determine whether i can join them or not. she then proceeded to ask me how much i was getting and all the other benefits in stored. i obliged by telling her what it was and then asked her if its possible to for them to somehow exceed or meet me halfway in that area. she answered me by saying that she will have to check with her boss...this placed a smile on my face. hehehehe
i'm sure most of the readers here would ask me why that whole statement placed a smile on my face. for one, having her rethink on offering me the job would actually be an advantage on my part, i would know on how much they can offer me in terms of compensation and at the same time, i would also know on how much they want to hire me. if she can match my current salary range or somehow (by force of luck) make an offer more than my current one, then this will prove that they have indeed decided to get me at any cost possible...
currently, i'm trying not to think about it anymore. i mean, seriously, i don't want to hassle myself over this fucked up sitch anymore. i'll just throw caution to the wind and let my fate lead me where i'm supposed to be... *sigh*
Sunday, January 27, 2008
ayeeng
ok,my blog entry does sound jibberish...even to my own ears. hmm, before somebody freaks out and think that i'm spreading some weird incantation of some sort or plainly in the habit of uttering mumbo-jumbos, let me put your minds to rest. this is not some new "linggo" nor is this some prayer for rain, this is actually a guy's nickname. YUP, it's some living, breathing, guy's nick.cool huh?errr, maybe in my opinion, at least...
i was out yesterday with my bf and we went to dencio's, metrowalk to have our full of Filipino dishes, well, more like MY full of kare-kare and garlic rice, so to speak. if you have been my friend since time immemorial, you would've probably given the side comment of me being a total "bochog" and i would've probably just retort back and say thank you to you're supposed insult. i mean, afterall, it is a known fact, i am a hearty eater nyaharhar.
the whole experience at dencio's proved to be the same as my last time...or better yet, proved to be far worse than the last time. ok, i went there coz i craved for kare-kare, nothing else. i mean, never mind that the mere mention of the word Dencio's is enough to send my bf's face into a grimace, never mind that upon going there, we had to wait for the next half an hour if we want to sit at the non-smoking section of the resto and never mind that deciding to sit outside would really irk my bf who is fully aware of how slow the service would be and that the host outside the door is a complete B***H, if you know what i mean.
well, as far as I'm concerned, the main driving point of us being at dencio's is plainly because of the food and that's about it...until, of course, my bf showed me the little printed name at the upper right of his paper napkin (as seen on the photo above) this really caught our attention and admittedly amused us for almost an hour. we had a lot of speculations on why there was a name on ONLY his napkin and there was none on mine...i even had the notion that one of the waitresses had this crush on him and decided to introduce herself by using this unconventional way of divulging her name...we were on laugh&asar trip for quite some time when this shiny, rectangular nameplate of one of the servers caught my eye...lo and behold...reading the name AYEENG on a MALE server really did plant a grin on my face and yes, numerous reasons to tease my bf for the rest of our evening. hehehehe :P
Thursday, January 24, 2008
mango
whew, i didn't know that going around the mall was THIS tiring...as if! of course, it is.talk about negating myself huh? well, i gotta admit, my usual mall escapade and spur of the moment shopping escapade with my cousin is fast becoming a habit.
we were at rockwell earlier and we raided most of the stores there, shoes, clothes, accessory shops...you name it and we're at it.we were like two energetic children who's on the prowl for toys.hmm, i think i'm getting older because i didn't dig that much except for this one cute little green dress in Mango. I actually fell in love with it.
The dress was a mixture of green floral designs and a background of the color white. the top part was tube-like and it had a flowing skirt which is just below the knee level and has a cute little green belt tied above the waist. it was really pretty, i even tried it on and it looked nice on me (and yes, this is true, even if the readers here would not agree...this is my blog, right?hehehe)but the only problem is...there is a loose fit on the side of the dress which is somehow bulging and sort of bothering me when i was looking at my reflection in the mirror. in short, it's still a size bigger than mine. so, i tried to look for a size smaller than what i have but unfortunately, there is no more stock. this is major bummer...i'm not a dress person and there are just rare occasions on which i want to wear girly dresses and on the day that it fell, i had to choose something which can not fit me.
in the end, i had to part ways with the dress. no use insisting that it's a perfect fit when i have to grimace whenever i see the side bulges. so i had to say goodbye to my little green dress and pray to heaven that i can still see the same clothing in another mango outlet(with the right size of course) huhuhu :(
p.s.
to my bf: hey, i hope you'll be reading this entry...i missed you today.we didn't get to talk as much and i didn't get to hear your voice like i usually do in the morning. i have to say, it's really not the same if i don't get to talk to you. you're an essential part of my day, you know...
we were at rockwell earlier and we raided most of the stores there, shoes, clothes, accessory shops...you name it and we're at it.we were like two energetic children who's on the prowl for toys.hmm, i think i'm getting older because i didn't dig that much except for this one cute little green dress in Mango. I actually fell in love with it.
The dress was a mixture of green floral designs and a background of the color white. the top part was tube-like and it had a flowing skirt which is just below the knee level and has a cute little green belt tied above the waist. it was really pretty, i even tried it on and it looked nice on me (and yes, this is true, even if the readers here would not agree...this is my blog, right?hehehe)but the only problem is...there is a loose fit on the side of the dress which is somehow bulging and sort of bothering me when i was looking at my reflection in the mirror. in short, it's still a size bigger than mine. so, i tried to look for a size smaller than what i have but unfortunately, there is no more stock. this is major bummer...i'm not a dress person and there are just rare occasions on which i want to wear girly dresses and on the day that it fell, i had to choose something which can not fit me.
in the end, i had to part ways with the dress. no use insisting that it's a perfect fit when i have to grimace whenever i see the side bulges. so i had to say goodbye to my little green dress and pray to heaven that i can still see the same clothing in another mango outlet(with the right size of course) huhuhu :(
p.s.
to my bf: hey, i hope you'll be reading this entry...i missed you today.we didn't get to talk as much and i didn't get to hear your voice like i usually do in the morning. i have to say, it's really not the same if i don't get to talk to you. you're an essential part of my day, you know...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
im famished
these past few days, I have been totally famished, like, i could eat an entire buffet meal if i please...but of course, I CAN'T. this stomach ache has given me more headache than i can think of. when will this "hunger strike" end?i hate my tummy right now...by the way, despite being this sick, i'm still happy...i get to be pampered by people. this includes my mother, friends and of course, my ever lovable boyfriend whom I so adore, specially when he's oh so-worried about me..."YOU" have been such a big help, don't mind me if I'm being bratty sometimes :P
love you!
ergo
what if we were all dumb and we had so little options in life...do you think that will be a lot of fun?
to some this question might be stupid or might be irrelevant but this fraction of thought is currently haunting my inertia nowadays...o well, not much to discuss there
and so i shall leave this blog again with my fabled imagination and restless soul*sigh*
to some this question might be stupid or might be irrelevant but this fraction of thought is currently haunting my inertia nowadays...o well, not much to discuss there
and so i shall leave this blog again with my fabled imagination and restless soul*sigh*
Saturday, January 19, 2008
finally...
and when the mist has subsided from the cloudy horizons that have painstakingly haunted my awareness is gone, all that is left is utter bewilderment
this week has been pure agony and torture for me, i could actually say that i've had a glimpse of hell in my sleep and uncertainty in my moments of waking up.for the very first time in my life, i've tasted "bittersweet' in its purest form and was given a slap from reality. i can't say it was quite fun but what i do know is that it has left me with a lesson that is imprinted on my being...a lesson learned and forever will be cherished
enough being said, the actuality that life is not fair does ring a bell but if i try to review it in the precedent i've encountered lately, i would have to negate this
life is definitely fair...i was given a glimpse of life's little piece of complication and yet the whole experience made me realize that i am such a lucky bastard.despite the problems and issues that was looming "above my head' previously,i have tons of people who love me and are willing to lend an open hand for my sense of security.i may not be lucky to be born with a sibling who can be there whenever i'm down and out but i'm very much blessed to have my dudes, dudettes, chong, pre, kumarez,friendships who'd be there to cover my back every time i need it. and so to you guys who have so lovingly given me advice, protected me, nagged me, made me kwento, made me sermon, worried over me (sometimes worry more than me), offered to help me in my times of trial and even offered me to stay at their place for the meantime (teehee), I THANK YOU... you guys have shown me what true friendship really is and i'm not just talking about those comic book descriptions but the REAL thing. thanks b1, mader cha,kumareng abbe, ms di, reins and dencio. seeing how you took care of me, showed me that i have so much to live for
and to the biggest friend that i have, i share this same sentiment. you might be my boyfriend, my lover, my ka-gimik or even my hot little "sexpot" (wink, wink, hehehe) but more than anything else, i treat you as one of my closest friends ever. you have shown me that there is another world out there where happiness truly resides and where imperfections are not a measure of one's being. you have shown me what L-O-V-E means in every bit of the word, sure, i might not have any comparison yet but i don't think i'll be needing it anymore. i can feel it in my heart that i have found what i have been searching for a long time...and at the back of my head, i can hear that it's you
for all the headaches i have recently caused, i would like to apologize. i am grateful for all the support, patience and understanding that you have showered me. i may not always show or say how much i care but deep down, i feel so much for you...i hope that in the times that we share, somehow i have gotten that message across. I LOVE YOU so much c.c.s.
this week has been pure agony and torture for me, i could actually say that i've had a glimpse of hell in my sleep and uncertainty in my moments of waking up.for the very first time in my life, i've tasted "bittersweet' in its purest form and was given a slap from reality. i can't say it was quite fun but what i do know is that it has left me with a lesson that is imprinted on my being...a lesson learned and forever will be cherished
enough being said, the actuality that life is not fair does ring a bell but if i try to review it in the precedent i've encountered lately, i would have to negate this
life is definitely fair...i was given a glimpse of life's little piece of complication and yet the whole experience made me realize that i am such a lucky bastard.despite the problems and issues that was looming "above my head' previously,i have tons of people who love me and are willing to lend an open hand for my sense of security.i may not be lucky to be born with a sibling who can be there whenever i'm down and out but i'm very much blessed to have my dudes, dudettes, chong, pre, kumarez,friendships who'd be there to cover my back every time i need it. and so to you guys who have so lovingly given me advice, protected me, nagged me, made me kwento, made me sermon, worried over me (sometimes worry more than me), offered to help me in my times of trial and even offered me to stay at their place for the meantime (teehee), I THANK YOU... you guys have shown me what true friendship really is and i'm not just talking about those comic book descriptions but the REAL thing. thanks b1, mader cha,kumareng abbe, ms di, reins and dencio. seeing how you took care of me, showed me that i have so much to live for
and to the biggest friend that i have, i share this same sentiment. you might be my boyfriend, my lover, my ka-gimik or even my hot little "sexpot" (wink, wink, hehehe) but more than anything else, i treat you as one of my closest friends ever. you have shown me that there is another world out there where happiness truly resides and where imperfections are not a measure of one's being. you have shown me what L-O-V-E means in every bit of the word, sure, i might not have any comparison yet but i don't think i'll be needing it anymore. i can feel it in my heart that i have found what i have been searching for a long time...and at the back of my head, i can hear that it's you
for all the headaches i have recently caused, i would like to apologize. i am grateful for all the support, patience and understanding that you have showered me. i may not always show or say how much i care but deep down, i feel so much for you...i hope that in the times that we share, somehow i have gotten that message across. I LOVE YOU so much c.c.s.
Friday, January 18, 2008
life is all about choices, disappointments and heartaches
i love u more than life itself, i love u more than i can muster, i love you beyond comprehension and i love you in so many ways possible that i am completely shattered with the thought of slowly losing you in this battle beyond my control...hearing your voice enveloped in pure defeat and giving way to a lost of hope is pure torture
i love u in retrospect...
i love u in retrospect...
Thursday, January 17, 2008
when things fall apart
when things literally do not go into the direction that you want it to, you start to blame alot of things or even alot of people for that matter when all you need to do is get a mirror and place it in front of you and say "this is your own doing...you coward"
i'm in a mess right now and from the looks of it, i am not even sure how to put things in their proper perspective, let alone pick up the pieces and try to put it back together. yup, you red it right, the once independent, headstrung, self righteous feminist is currently in a tangled web. not to mention, a large complex web, at that...i've tried to put it aside, to act like nothing is wrong and to somehow soothe my nerves but in all HONESTY, nothing seems to work. i have jangled nerve endings waiting to burst out, i'm feeling symptoms of i don't know what and at this exact moment, i feel like a part of me is suddenly dying, slowly retrieving into the God-forsaken world of numbness.i wish someone would just put me out of this misery and help me get through this like how it works in the wonderful world of fairies where you pop the magic wand and "poof" disappears all the heartaches and melodramas or maybe, some helpful speed-crazy driving lunatic would run me over so that i'd have literally no choice but to forget "all" this or prolly my entire life thereof. i've no ounce of strength left to fight whatever this is happening to me, all i can do is cry my eyes out and feel the pain of remorse for some wrong choices that i've made. no space for feeling sorry for myself there, afterall, i brought this upon myself, i've been the devil's advocate in this whole satyre, no sense in blaming anybody else but me...i could muster up all the curses that i can think of but it won't matter anymore, i'm still here feeling dejected and with a sickening feeling in the pit of my gut
i'm in a mess right now and from the looks of it, i am not even sure how to put things in their proper perspective, let alone pick up the pieces and try to put it back together. yup, you red it right, the once independent, headstrung, self righteous feminist is currently in a tangled web. not to mention, a large complex web, at that...i've tried to put it aside, to act like nothing is wrong and to somehow soothe my nerves but in all HONESTY, nothing seems to work. i have jangled nerve endings waiting to burst out, i'm feeling symptoms of i don't know what and at this exact moment, i feel like a part of me is suddenly dying, slowly retrieving into the God-forsaken world of numbness.i wish someone would just put me out of this misery and help me get through this like how it works in the wonderful world of fairies where you pop the magic wand and "poof" disappears all the heartaches and melodramas or maybe, some helpful speed-crazy driving lunatic would run me over so that i'd have literally no choice but to forget "all" this or prolly my entire life thereof. i've no ounce of strength left to fight whatever this is happening to me, all i can do is cry my eyes out and feel the pain of remorse for some wrong choices that i've made. no space for feeling sorry for myself there, afterall, i brought this upon myself, i've been the devil's advocate in this whole satyre, no sense in blaming anybody else but me...i could muster up all the curses that i can think of but it won't matter anymore, i'm still here feeling dejected and with a sickening feeling in the pit of my gut
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
solace
I find SOLACE in hither, i wish I could find that in myself right now...
"YOU" have been more than i could ever ask for and I cherish all the love that you continue to show and bestow on me. If I'd have it any other way, i would protect you from all the harshness that the world can muster coz whenever we're together, nothing else really matters and everything fades into oblivion
i love you...have more patience...time is passing as it we would wield it to be..it's just "YOU" & me... forever
Friday, January 11, 2008
rain
according to some, RAIN depicts blessings or some form of affirmation for something, In my opinion, it summarizes how I feel right at this very moment...
it's what you call temporary amnesia
sometimes people get so caught up in what's currently happening in their daily existence that's why they tend to forget some more important things or more important people per se...
I've been writing this blog since the start of the year, I have been trying really hard not to miss an entry in this whole new area in my "writing life". This is the main reason why as much as I can, I log on here and place my everyday happenings and thoughts.
In this undying quest for complete blog entries, it totally slipped me that I should be writing something about this specific person in my life. I have been so preoccupied with my current rantings, job hunting and paper documentations that I have totally forgotten to cite the major turning point in the storybook called "My Life"
last year, I was just out here minding my business and was continuously doing what I do best: follow my whole life's routine, be myself, work to death and not care a fig on what transpires out of own little world. All I do is mind myself and just that. Flat, right?
It didn't occur to me that 2007 would be a turning point...a good one...I haven't imagined in my slightest dreams that I'd come across this one person who'd be changing my life forever and who would be penetrating this solitary shield I have placed upon myself. talk about a bunch of cliches. There I was thinking that I'm confined to forever singlehood and I'd end up growing old with dogs and will resort to calling them my babies when upon the most unexpected situation I came across "him". Well, I'd rather call it confusing instead of unexpected. I mean, who wouldn't? I was miserable after some guy literally dump me in an out of town adventure which was supposed to be geared for romance but ended in a complete nightmare and "he" was there utterly confused about his current relationship which was hitting the bottom low and tailspinning more downwards. During that time, all we needed was a good conversation and a comrad who'd lend an ear to each of our own melodrama. We ended up with more, I ended with "him" and he ended up with me
When other people are asked on how 2007 went by, they'd prolly say 2007 this, 2007 that, blah, blah, blah, blah. I, on the other hand can sum it up in one word: WONDERFUL... because this year has brought me this one person which is now considered to be a big piece of me. 2007 has given "him" to me, I am more than thankful, I am humbled...
I've been writing this blog since the start of the year, I have been trying really hard not to miss an entry in this whole new area in my "writing life". This is the main reason why as much as I can, I log on here and place my everyday happenings and thoughts.
In this undying quest for complete blog entries, it totally slipped me that I should be writing something about this specific person in my life. I have been so preoccupied with my current rantings, job hunting and paper documentations that I have totally forgotten to cite the major turning point in the storybook called "My Life"
last year, I was just out here minding my business and was continuously doing what I do best: follow my whole life's routine, be myself, work to death and not care a fig on what transpires out of own little world. All I do is mind myself and just that. Flat, right?
It didn't occur to me that 2007 would be a turning point...a good one...I haven't imagined in my slightest dreams that I'd come across this one person who'd be changing my life forever and who would be penetrating this solitary shield I have placed upon myself. talk about a bunch of cliches. There I was thinking that I'm confined to forever singlehood and I'd end up growing old with dogs and will resort to calling them my babies when upon the most unexpected situation I came across "him". Well, I'd rather call it confusing instead of unexpected. I mean, who wouldn't? I was miserable after some guy literally dump me in an out of town adventure which was supposed to be geared for romance but ended in a complete nightmare and "he" was there utterly confused about his current relationship which was hitting the bottom low and tailspinning more downwards. During that time, all we needed was a good conversation and a comrad who'd lend an ear to each of our own melodrama. We ended up with more, I ended with "him" and he ended up with me
When other people are asked on how 2007 went by, they'd prolly say 2007 this, 2007 that, blah, blah, blah, blah. I, on the other hand can sum it up in one word: WONDERFUL... because this year has brought me this one person which is now considered to be a big piece of me. 2007 has given "him" to me, I am more than thankful, I am humbled...
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
medical check-ups and the eekiness of life's imperfections
today is one hell of a roller coaster ride. my morning was centered in Manila. I went to DFA to have my passport renewed and to my surprise, it took only a few moments of hours to have my "appearance" at their office. ok, maybe this should be attributed to the fact that I had it processed using this phone-renewal service instead of doing it the regular way. seriously, this type of fast processing can count as a blessing for us Filipinos. if it weren't invented, I'm sure I'd be one of those people who were outside DFA, in a very loooooooooooooooooong line and screaming at every guard in sight. it was really pitiful how these people were earlier, specially during the time that one of the "security officers"declared that the application process is over and only those in front of the line will be entertained because they have already reached their so-called "qouta" for passport applicants. I mean, if I was one of the people who got cut off from the chance to process my application, I would probably be appalled like most of them. During the time that I was going home, i even thought that a stampede is fast approaching, it made my exit quicker in the earnest to run for my life from the mad crowd in a row.
afternoon came and I thought I'd be given the chance to catch up on sleep but unfortunately, I still had tons of processing to do. well, in follow up to my previous entry "to do or not to do...that is the ULTIMATE question". I called my pending application again and to my dismay, the HR personnel gave it to me straight. it's not that I didn't make the cut rather the position that I was applying for was on hold because of some budget constraints and they were still looking for an appropriate position where I can fit. I had no choice but to affirm with her and say everything was ok when in fact, I was very much disappointed with this news. It took me awhile to digest the idea that this company is not for me. Sure, I can go on and on and list all the good qualities and superb factors as to why I want to join them and why they're considered to be top of the line, but hey, it doesn't matter now. In summary, I was dumped. There are no other ways of putting it. I can sugar coat it and pretend that this was all a bad joke but in reality, i was heart broken. I felt like i was duped into thinking that something positive was afoot and that all the interviewers' good praises are signs that they're welcoming me but in truth, it was all a farce. Some might think I'm sourgraping or bitter even. Who wouldn't? I processed this for like 2 months and wagered everything that I've got into believing that this is the big break that I needed and what do I get, a smack from reality that brought me tumbling back to the floor.
enough being said, I decided to pick myself up from this dark mood and went on to have my medical check-up for my second choice of a job. afterall, it's better to have a second than to have no choice at all. and so i traveled to Galleria to look for the medical laboratory where I was intended to have my pre-employment check. this experience is absolutely horendous. i have to tell you, I didn't enjoy one bit of it. from the moment of having my urine sample taken, to my physical check-up (more like a semi porn movie to be exact)to my x-ray and down to my blood test (and who thought blood donation is only voluntary huh?1 vial is too much for a blood sample, who's doing the blood extraction:dracula?), it was a cringe in my skin. it's a big question on why they invented these semi-clinic or medical laboratories watchamacalit in the first place. It's bad enough that they do not have a systematic approach in checking their clients but to actually FORCE your patients to urinate more than 60 ml just to satisfy your procedure of filling one whole container up to brim is totally propostorous. seriously, this is way too much even for my uncanny mind to handle.
and so I finished doing this check up at around 6pm already and by that time, I was too exhausted to complain to any of their staffs that nobody told me that I can already go home after my x-ray moment. all I did was to drag myself out of the clinic and to slowly walk home...feeling alone and quite proud of myself because I did not do any single ranting in this God forsaken "clinic"
tomorrow, I'm targeting to renew my driver's license. I'm uncertain on what lies ahead for me in the LTO but be assured that whatever it may be, I will be ready. nyak-nyak-nyak. teehee :D
afternoon came and I thought I'd be given the chance to catch up on sleep but unfortunately, I still had tons of processing to do. well, in follow up to my previous entry "to do or not to do...that is the ULTIMATE question". I called my pending application again and to my dismay, the HR personnel gave it to me straight. it's not that I didn't make the cut rather the position that I was applying for was on hold because of some budget constraints and they were still looking for an appropriate position where I can fit. I had no choice but to affirm with her and say everything was ok when in fact, I was very much disappointed with this news. It took me awhile to digest the idea that this company is not for me. Sure, I can go on and on and list all the good qualities and superb factors as to why I want to join them and why they're considered to be top of the line, but hey, it doesn't matter now. In summary, I was dumped. There are no other ways of putting it. I can sugar coat it and pretend that this was all a bad joke but in reality, i was heart broken. I felt like i was duped into thinking that something positive was afoot and that all the interviewers' good praises are signs that they're welcoming me but in truth, it was all a farce. Some might think I'm sourgraping or bitter even. Who wouldn't? I processed this for like 2 months and wagered everything that I've got into believing that this is the big break that I needed and what do I get, a smack from reality that brought me tumbling back to the floor.
enough being said, I decided to pick myself up from this dark mood and went on to have my medical check-up for my second choice of a job. afterall, it's better to have a second than to have no choice at all. and so i traveled to Galleria to look for the medical laboratory where I was intended to have my pre-employment check. this experience is absolutely horendous. i have to tell you, I didn't enjoy one bit of it. from the moment of having my urine sample taken, to my physical check-up (more like a semi porn movie to be exact)to my x-ray and down to my blood test (and who thought blood donation is only voluntary huh?1 vial is too much for a blood sample, who's doing the blood extraction:dracula?), it was a cringe in my skin. it's a big question on why they invented these semi-clinic or medical laboratories watchamacalit in the first place. It's bad enough that they do not have a systematic approach in checking their clients but to actually FORCE your patients to urinate more than 60 ml just to satisfy your procedure of filling one whole container up to brim is totally propostorous. seriously, this is way too much even for my uncanny mind to handle.
and so I finished doing this check up at around 6pm already and by that time, I was too exhausted to complain to any of their staffs that nobody told me that I can already go home after my x-ray moment. all I did was to drag myself out of the clinic and to slowly walk home...feeling alone and quite proud of myself because I did not do any single ranting in this God forsaken "clinic"
tomorrow, I'm targeting to renew my driver's license. I'm uncertain on what lies ahead for me in the LTO but be assured that whatever it may be, I will be ready. nyak-nyak-nyak. teehee :D
Sunday, January 6, 2008
to do or not to do...that is my ULTIMATE question...
haaaay, it's a Monday again. My world has revolved around the four corners of my room and it's really clawing me in. I can actually hear the tick-tocking of the clock outside and it's driving me slowly around the bend. I have called every friend already and as it turns out, they're all quite busy. Too bad, I'm not, right? Hmm, I'm getting tired of lounging around here and eating all the stock of chocolates that my mother has kept inside the fridge. Man, if two big bars of Toblerone, 1 big box of Swiss Chocolate and another box of French Chocos do not turn your sugar rush level up, I don't know what will. Aside from being a total choco-monster, I have also developed the love for bacon & ham. Forgive me doctor for I have sinned....
It has been two days straight for the bacon and me. I have been eating it since the weekends and man, the oh so fattening oil dripping from it while it I slowly chew on the crispy yet sumptuous meal in my mouth is "heavenly". It's what I call addicting. No need for beer or drugs for me, just a thin slice of pork and you'd expect me to do your bidding. Ok, that sounded wrong, I mean, really wrong. hahaha (wink, wink)
So much for starting the year on a clean slate, I'd practically need 6 months of retreat before I finally achieve that. On the contrary, I think 3 months would suffice. It would be enough to somehow make me shoo out the "evilness" in my body (wohoooo...is that a dare?)
Ok, back to the original context: I told myself that I'd gather all the courage that I have and would actually call the company that I still have this pending application to and guess what, to my dismay, I can't seem to get a hold of their HR personnel. Hello, I began calling at around 11 in the morning and up to this instant (5:45 in the afternoon), there is still no sign of her. Is it my lucky day or what? All I wanted to do was to follow up on the status of my papers and pray to God that she has some feedback already. Afterall, it's been 2 months since my whole application proper. Of course, I didn't get the chance to talk to her and I'm still left with this dilemma in my brain...I wish I could just operate on myself and take out my cerebrum, at least that will leave me clueless.
It has been two days straight for the bacon and me. I have been eating it since the weekends and man, the oh so fattening oil dripping from it while it I slowly chew on the crispy yet sumptuous meal in my mouth is "heavenly". It's what I call addicting. No need for beer or drugs for me, just a thin slice of pork and you'd expect me to do your bidding. Ok, that sounded wrong, I mean, really wrong. hahaha (wink, wink)So much for starting the year on a clean slate, I'd practically need 6 months of retreat before I finally achieve that. On the contrary, I think 3 months would suffice. It would be enough to somehow make me shoo out the "evilness" in my body (wohoooo...is that a dare?)
Ok, back to the original context: I told myself that I'd gather all the courage that I have and would actually call the company that I still have this pending application to and guess what, to my dismay, I can't seem to get a hold of their HR personnel. Hello, I began calling at around 11 in the morning and up to this instant (5:45 in the afternoon), there is still no sign of her. Is it my lucky day or what? All I wanted to do was to follow up on the status of my papers and pray to God that she has some feedback already. Afterall, it's been 2 months since my whole application proper. Of course, I didn't get the chance to talk to her and I'm still left with this dilemma in my brain...I wish I could just operate on myself and take out my cerebrum, at least that will leave me clueless.
wonder wall
for the fans of this certain Oasis classic, this entry is not about that song. gotcha huh?hahaha
It's Sunday and my whole day basically revolved on this piece of wall right here on the left. Yup, I spent one whole day mixing paint into different shades of the color wheel. I can actually conclude from this little adventure that I've had that my future is sealed already. I am destined for greatness in the wonderful world of painters...and carpenters...so to speak :)
Saturday, January 5, 2008
saturday night pitfall with a big splash on the side...at least...?
well, as my title would suggest, I am extremely bored right now...and so the story goes on. My usual Saturday escapade of looking for someone to chit-chat with over a warm or should I say cold cup of coffee has suddenly turned into a late night moment of baby-sit the parents (after eating a plateful of rice with a mouthful of bacon and a chunk of cheese omelet) while watching Pinoy Big Brother: celebrity edition season 2. This is what I call lame, I mean, really L-A-M-E! I've been at home for this whole week and all I do is cook, eat, watch tv, listen to MP3s and my most favorite of all, carpentry work. I have reached the end of the week and again, what did I choose to do? I picked up a brush and started painting my kitchen walls Red, err, more like Blue, Green, White, etc that is.
with the help of my trustee assistant (my ninong, hehehe), we have finished painting the whole of my room upstairs. Since I have nothing else better to do earlier this afternoon, I've decided to go at it and be productive. Afterall, there are tons to be done on the house and nobody will delve into it unless I initiate something. At around 7 pm, it was quite exciting to see that my once flat colorless room wall has now turned into a very vivid colorful work of art (forgive this ongoing bias of singing praises for my work, TAKE NOTE: my OWN work.hah!) Although, I have to admit that I am somewhat disappointed with the choice of color that I have made. I was intent on making my room Apple Green because I have always been a lover of full, bright colors and for me this signifies my personality. But with the use of the acri color with the label of "Thalo Green", my room is now a rectangular Bubble Gum Green Aquarium. Well, at first, I wasn't happy at all with this turn of events but sitting down on a chair and staring at my wall for a couple of minutes has changed my perspective. I am slowly getting accustomed to the color. It's somewhat cute, bubbly and it shows a tinge of femininity. I can't wait to move in to my room and decorate it like there's no tomorrow. In fact, I am very eager to move in to my new home.
Yes, you red it right. I have a new home/house and I am damn proud of it. It's not much, it's not like one of those big blown up houses you see on tv and it doesn't compare to any of the mansion in dasma or forbes even. It's just a simple 2-storey house with a lot of hard work and perspiration making up it's structure. Ok, don't take it literal. What I meant is that I've put alot in it. It's my second baby, it's something close to my heart because I've sacrificed for it. Do you know how it feels to look at something that you have worked so hard for come to life? I do.. this house is it...I've never felt so fulfilled in my entire life. It's like learning what your purpose is and doing something about it. It's a mixture of joy and all the other elements there is. What can I say, I'm slowly reaching the goals that I have set for myself. What else is next?
with the help of my trustee assistant (my ninong, hehehe), we have finished painting the whole of my room upstairs. Since I have nothing else better to do earlier this afternoon, I've decided to go at it and be productive. Afterall, there are tons to be done on the house and nobody will delve into it unless I initiate something. At around 7 pm, it was quite exciting to see that my once flat colorless room wall has now turned into a very vivid colorful work of art (forgive this ongoing bias of singing praises for my work, TAKE NOTE: my OWN work.hah!) Although, I have to admit that I am somewhat disappointed with the choice of color that I have made. I was intent on making my room Apple Green because I have always been a lover of full, bright colors and for me this signifies my personality. But with the use of the acri color with the label of "Thalo Green", my room is now a rectangular Bubble Gum Green Aquarium. Well, at first, I wasn't happy at all with this turn of events but sitting down on a chair and staring at my wall for a couple of minutes has changed my perspective. I am slowly getting accustomed to the color. It's somewhat cute, bubbly and it shows a tinge of femininity. I can't wait to move in to my room and decorate it like there's no tomorrow. In fact, I am very eager to move in to my new home.
Yes, you red it right. I have a new home/house and I am damn proud of it. It's not much, it's not like one of those big blown up houses you see on tv and it doesn't compare to any of the mansion in dasma or forbes even. It's just a simple 2-storey house with a lot of hard work and perspiration making up it's structure. Ok, don't take it literal. What I meant is that I've put alot in it. It's my second baby, it's something close to my heart because I've sacrificed for it. Do you know how it feels to look at something that you have worked so hard for come to life? I do.. this house is it...I've never felt so fulfilled in my entire life. It's like learning what your purpose is and doing something about it. It's a mixture of joy and all the other elements there is. What can I say, I'm slowly reaching the goals that I have set for myself. What else is next?
Friday, January 4, 2008
fyi
well, I've been musing about the lyrics of this particular song I've been excessively engrossed with since December. I really do not know why I started to like it and why it suddenly grew on me but eversince the time I heard it playing over the airwaves, I couldn't get it off my brain...and for some unknown reason, I desperately searched the net for it and downloaded it to my mobile. I also am currently "overplaying" it every time I log on to my baby lappie ( this doesn't sound right but for techie pips out there, I'm sure they'd get my geek talk BS. hahaha)
FYI
(AMBER DAVIS)
featuring Jay-R
CHORUS
FYI... i got a new man
FYI... I’m so out of love with you
FYI... I didn’t want to say it
But I already got a guy
For your information
I already got a guy
For your information
Yeah, already got a guy
Didn’t want me when you had me, I
always made u so unhappy, Why
are you standing here now
trying to get me back
I ain’t goin back no no
You always had your way, of
Getting me to stay, but
things are little different now
if you really want to know I’ll tell you how
Chorus
FYI... i got a new man
FYI... I’m so out of love with you
FYI... I didn’t want to say it
But I already got a guy
Don’t be lookin at me crazy, like
I’m still your lady, cause
you walked out on me
said your never comin back
don’t try to take it back now boy
You always had your way
Of getting me to stay, but
times have changed
and there never gonna be the same, no...
repeat chorus
What your man got to do with me
We went 6 years strong got history
FYI ain’t replacing me
So gotta take it back
Better take it back right now
Cause I know that you love me girl
I never meant to hurt you girl
I only wanna make it right
So hurry up already and leave that guy
FYI I’m a new man
FYI still inlove with you
FYI didn’t want to say it
FYI But you should leave that guy
REPEAT CHORUS
Thursday, January 3, 2008
my morning & organic living :)
Organic Living anyone?…the basic 101 of living organic
Organic Living is more than just a concept. It’s a way of life. In broader definition, it’s merely eating food that's grown without the use of synthetic fertilizers and pesticides. Placing it on a lighter note, it actually connects to one’s well being and persona. The whole idea encourages people, especially today’s generation, to stop and think on how they can live their life the fullest and be productive in a sense. The basic principle ,thus, is living “healthy” amidst the stress-infested environment that we thrive in. Living in the Organic approach generally contributes to how the people of today manage their lives by being mindful of their health and eating habits in perspective. After all, you know what they say: “ you are what you eat”..
writings of a broken mind
well, it's quite late already and I haven't slept a wink yet. I'm a bit excited and confused about this whole thing, I guess that's why I'm still up. Since I'm already here, I might as well share one of the two articles that I have done recently:
Organic Living anyone?
“living healthy and a balanced YOU”
Who says organic living is for the old? On the contrary, today’s generation should pay more attention to this new “phenomena” which is catching the Philippines by storm. Living organic is not merely picking out fresh fruits or vegetables which are not grown with synthetic fertilizers or pesticides. There’s more to it than that, Healthy eating is just an aspect but living “healthy” is another story. With the advent of the Call Centers, BPOs and IT Industries and the technology era at bay, one can infer that the Philippines is rapidly changing and this is a whole new “ballgame”. The concoction of stress, diseases and health disorders brought about by this set-up has paved the way for health conscious individuals to uplift the concept of Organic Living.
Organic Living in a sense pertains to the importance of what a person eats. Remember the proverbial saying “ you are, what you eat”? On one hand, it can also point to a person’s lifestyle or overall wellbeing. Living the organic way is not just eating a balanced diet and being a complete gym nut. The idea behind it is that people should take charge of their lives by taking charge of their health. Of course, your health is the foundation for an active and productive lifestyle. Organic Living pushes for this notion by encouraging people to carefully choose their food intake for good health and a sustainable lifespan. After all, life is too short to be brandied about as non-important.
torn between two...job offers?
if you actually read the title of this entry, you'd probably think that I got two job offers and I'm torn between which one to choose...on the contrary, I've only got one and the other one is still left in limbo. Call it weird but I still find myself lingering on my "first choice" and I'm not budging an inch to free myself of this total bewilderment. If only Philippine companies have systems that are congruent to foreign ones, then I wouldn't be in this predicament. Oh yeah, sure, now, I'm even blaming corporate culture for this so called misery. A misery which I actually created on my own...
Some people who hear me continuously wailing in this blog at this exact instant about getting a job offer that I'm not sure about would probably ask me "Then why did you apply there in the first place?" or would just plain slap me senseless by being such a stickler for perfection. Some call this stupidity, I call it "security". I'm the type of person who has a plan, in everything I do, that is. Can you believe that I even plan the time on when I want to go to the mall or when to I have to go out with my friends. I usually have an iterenary on what I intend to do in the next week, heck, sometimes, the whole of next month. I just can't stand not knowing on what will happen next or what I'll be doing. In all that's happening around me, I always want to have the upper hand. I want to be sure, I do not want to be left in the dark and be clueless. That is where "contingency plans" fall into place.
Some thrive in spontaneity, others in dynamism. I, on the other hand, tend to be structured. Hey, rigidity isn't a crime. It's more like plain discipline being processed in the human form. You would probably infer that I do embody this in the choices that I have been making lately. Take the case of this entry's core subject...I am torn, yes, I am.
Maybe this is because of the fact that I did receive a job offer today and half of me is stillin pining for my other choice. I honestly do no know why I am being this way but all I know is that I can't stop myself from somehow, hoping against all hope that I get that other one too
Some people who hear me continuously wailing in this blog at this exact instant about getting a job offer that I'm not sure about would probably ask me "Then why did you apply there in the first place?" or would just plain slap me senseless by being such a stickler for perfection. Some call this stupidity, I call it "security". I'm the type of person who has a plan, in everything I do, that is. Can you believe that I even plan the time on when I want to go to the mall or when to I have to go out with my friends. I usually have an iterenary on what I intend to do in the next week, heck, sometimes, the whole of next month. I just can't stand not knowing on what will happen next or what I'll be doing. In all that's happening around me, I always want to have the upper hand. I want to be sure, I do not want to be left in the dark and be clueless. That is where "contingency plans" fall into place.
Some thrive in spontaneity, others in dynamism. I, on the other hand, tend to be structured. Hey, rigidity isn't a crime. It's more like plain discipline being processed in the human form. You would probably infer that I do embody this in the choices that I have been making lately. Take the case of this entry's core subject...I am torn, yes, I am.
Maybe this is because of the fact that I did receive a job offer today and half of me is stillin pining for my other choice. I honestly do no know why I am being this way but all I know is that I can't stop myself from somehow, hoping against all hope that I get that other one too
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
tick-tock...
the more time I spend at home, the more I grow insane and weary with everything that's transpiring in my life. I think I'm getting "rusty" and all I tend to do now is focus on carpentry...making cabinets, designing tiles and yeah, my regular Saturday habit of painting the house... and no, I am not a guy.
Maybe the latter half of my 2007 went into a tailspin and I'm still in the middle of the sphere but until when will I be in this predicament? I am just so impatient right now, I feel like I'm getting less of the "action" that I was used to getting way back when I was still productive and job infused. I feel like I should be doing more, so much more... My life is currently centered on being at home, manning the household, cooking, surfing the net, thinking on what will happen next, your typical run-of-the-mill definition of a bum. Yeah,I am your self proclaimed bum and I guess, I'm damn proud of it. Call it false pretenses but hey, at least, somehow in this existence that I am living, I get to do what I'm supposed to
Sometimes I want to lose all hope and be resigned to the fact that I'm in a slump but whenever I do so, somewhere along the road, a twist of fate leaps into my corner and I get all energized again, ready to face the world in a better mood. Yet while doing so, I still feel that tiny knot in the pit of my stomach slowly crunching on my insides...
Maybe the latter half of my 2007 went into a tailspin and I'm still in the middle of the sphere but until when will I be in this predicament? I am just so impatient right now, I feel like I'm getting less of the "action" that I was used to getting way back when I was still productive and job infused. I feel like I should be doing more, so much more... My life is currently centered on being at home, manning the household, cooking, surfing the net, thinking on what will happen next, your typical run-of-the-mill definition of a bum. Yeah,I am your self proclaimed bum and I guess, I'm damn proud of it. Call it false pretenses but hey, at least, somehow in this existence that I am living, I get to do what I'm supposed to
Sometimes I want to lose all hope and be resigned to the fact that I'm in a slump but whenever I do so, somewhere along the road, a twist of fate leaps into my corner and I get all energized again, ready to face the world in a better mood. Yet while doing so, I still feel that tiny knot in the pit of my stomach slowly crunching on my insides...
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
what's in store for 2008?
ok, i'm up and about, ready to face the world with a smile and a bucket of hopefulness...NOT!!!
whoever said life was fun and everybody should enjoy it must be six feet under by now and has alot of worms roaming all over his body. Man, thank god i'm already finished with breakfast, lunch, merienda1 and merienda2 before doing this entry. hahaha
no, no, no, I am not your resident cynic, I guess I'm feeling cold feet. Afterall, I am starting the year on the wrong foot or maybe the limp one, if you can call that a figure of speech. There are still remnants of things that have transpired in 2007 that I am trying to deal with and I am not sure whether I can still recuperate from them. Well, I am not being morbid or anything, It's reality kicking in. It's like a shot of espresso straight into my system. It's when I drink it "bottoms-up" and then it's too late to realize that caffeine is bad for my health or that it'll keep me awake long enough until everybody's up and at 'em.
I might sound like I'm talking in puzzles or that it's plain jibberish but I know what I'm saying. My life is currently down in the dumps and it makes me want to puke really hard that I am literally starting the year with a bang (sound that you make when you fall down, like ompf) and as much I want to do something about it, I can't. All that's left for me is to wait in earnest.
If only I was created patient, then there would be no problem...but I am not
whoever said life was fun and everybody should enjoy it must be six feet under by now and has alot of worms roaming all over his body. Man, thank god i'm already finished with breakfast, lunch, merienda1 and merienda2 before doing this entry. hahaha
no, no, no, I am not your resident cynic, I guess I'm feeling cold feet. Afterall, I am starting the year on the wrong foot or maybe the limp one, if you can call that a figure of speech. There are still remnants of things that have transpired in 2007 that I am trying to deal with and I am not sure whether I can still recuperate from them. Well, I am not being morbid or anything, It's reality kicking in. It's like a shot of espresso straight into my system. It's when I drink it "bottoms-up" and then it's too late to realize that caffeine is bad for my health or that it'll keep me awake long enough until everybody's up and at 'em.
I might sound like I'm talking in puzzles or that it's plain jibberish but I know what I'm saying. My life is currently down in the dumps and it makes me want to puke really hard that I am literally starting the year with a bang (sound that you make when you fall down, like ompf) and as much I want to do something about it, I can't. All that's left for me is to wait in earnest.
If only I was created patient, then there would be no problem...but I am not
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