from AM to SAM

well, it's a sunday again and I think I owe this blog two entries at least. After all the things that are happening to me, i think, blogging here should be a rewarding way for me to de-stress somehow.

this week has been eventful as it is and to start off,one of my cousins along with her fam visited Manila again and this time,it's not for a funeral service or anything bad but really just for plain vacation. their stay here lasted only 3 days and the highlight was them going to Subic and enjoying the whole day jet-skiing. Sad to say, I didn't come along. I stayed at home and tended to the stuff that I needed to finish.

Too Bad huh? not really, i enjoyed every bit of time that I was at home. Having all my cousins gone with their children along leaves a very peaceful moment here at the house. It's not like we live in one place or anything, more like a compound and if my nieces or nephews are out playing, you can expect a whole lot of ruckus.

In any case, that basically started my whole week and somehow, the middle of it was quite ok and all went well.

Maybe, something unexpected did happen and it was during last Thursday.

I always had this notion that my usual week would just be plain busy and I'd be engrossed with work again. Not that I'm complaining. Work usually has my hands full and it keeps me from not doing anything and be up and about.

Thursday afternoon, our HR head asked me to see her in this mini-conference room near our Department. She had this really straight face and her voice was quite serious and low. I had the impression that I did something bad or I commited an offense against the Company Policy because she didn't give any hint of warmth or did not even smile at me.

When I sat down and listened to what she was saying, it was not really registering. All that was coming out of her mouth were a bunch of jumbled words and the only thing I can remember was her asking me to get a pen to sign papers...which of course, I did.

The whole scene was quite fast and it didn't even took 10 minutes. She said her piece and I signed the receiving copy of the papers and then she was out the door. Whew! Isn't that weird? Well, I think it was...

Not to mention, when I was alone and was reading the documents on my own already.... That's just when I realized that I signed papers intended for my promotion. It said about me increasing in rank, etc, etc,yada, yada...and awhole lot more.

Of course, that left a smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon or this week almost...until Bagyong Ondoy passed by...that, on the other hand, is left for another blog entry...

another long weekend

as i end my Sunday and move on to another Holiday Monday, i realized that after that, it's already the 22nd of September and a few more days and October's rolling in.

I'm counting the days until the year has passed by once again and 2010 is just round the bend. Well, it's not like I'm looking forward to ending the page for 2009 but it's more of my disbelief that alot of days, months, weekends, work-days have passed right before my very eye.

I went out last night with my boyfriend. It's our usual Saturday moment together and we decided to have dinner at Metrowalk again. Well, the thing is, we needed to bring back a disfunctional dvd there to get it replaced so this led us to of course, eating there after our errand.

We checked out the newly opened "Marina" resto. When I say newly opened, it means new to my standards. Afterall, the place might have been in operation for a couple of months already and yesterday was the only time we were able to visit it. Not that we don't like hangin at metrowalk but the no. 1 tambayan in me and my bf's vocab is Eastwood.

Metrowalk is just too near to our addresses that's why we try to veer away from there and take the next farthest gimikan after that block. Besides, Eastwood has my thumbs up because I like the crowd, the ambiance, it has cinemas and after eating, you have the privilege of walking around or choosing one of the coffee joints sprawled around to chill and talk.

Back to what I was saying, Marina at Metro was ok. I originally wanted to go to Jay-Jay's but my bf was against it. Not because of bad food or anything, it's mainly coz he knows i'll be ordering kare-kare again and he really squirms whenever I do, not to mention, i try to pair this up with sizzling sisig, yum, right? i guess, he's just so used to me being preditable when it comes to ordering at Jay-jay's that's why he wanted me to pick another place instead.

This is why we ended up at there... We've been in Metrowalk alot of times and we're very familar with all the food establishments there and have actually tried each and everyone of them. The only one left is Marina.

After much deliberation of where to go to and what to order. What ended on top of our table is still Kare-kare...hehehe, ironic huh? at least, we get to pair this with rockafeller and la paz batchoy and yeah, my bf's beer below zero whatever experience...(in short, san mig light na pinalamig at pinayelo.bwahahaha!)

With this being said, you would expect that the next thing to happen is for me and my bf to munch away and leave a bunch of plates after....honestly, i think both him and me are slowly becoming bochog na talaga :)

"lagay"

well, today was quite tiresome and very stressful. i was in the office and i tried finishing alot of the things that were pending on my plate. needless to say, it's an ordinary work experience for lil ol me.

after work, i went straight to galleria to meet my mother. we needed to buy some stuff and had to do a bit of an early Xmas shopping. the weird part is, we ended up buying things for ourselves. talk about nice eh? hehehe

in any case, the geist of this whole blog entry is that today marked my first ever time to get caught by the police in Ortigas...and my violation was quite complex. it was obstruction because i didn't turn left on a supposed left turn and this fucked up black isuzu crosswind was cutting me. of course, if you were the vehicle at my back, you'd do the same thing. afterall, i was running a 20 on my speedometer. slow huh? well, i'm just trying to be careful. besides, there are lots of crazy drivers out there.

to sum it up, the person who caught me wanted me to pay a fine of P500 because of my said violation and i had to plead for him not to get my license. not because i'm afraid of showing this in my driver's records or what (believe me, i already have one and the worse part is that it's in Makati)it's mainly because i do'nt want the hassle that comes along with this. like getting your license from the LTO office...the effort of going there really is shitty. so, in all cuteness and perkiness, i was joking around with this traffic enforcer and he let me off the hook. of course, that comes with the corresponding "o sige pagusapan na nga lang natin to" phrase coming out of him.

i agreed and you know what the funny part is? i gave him a "lagay" of only P20. geez, the lengths that people in uniform go to, just to earn extra. now, i realized that it indeed is RECESSION...

back to the drawing board

i thought that things will be going back to normal after all the hush-shush that we've been undergoing since last week but apparently, it's not. somehow, deep inside me, i have this gnawing feeling that this is more than what i've expected.

i figured, you know, if i brush it off as nothing really, it'll come off as one of the usual arguments that we've come to end after just an hour of discussion or maybe like the usual petty quarrels that makes me irk in annoyance. well, i'm slowly realizing that there is more to this than petty. it dawned on me that i am affected with what's bothering you and even if I try to close my eyes and pretend everything's gonna be fine, now, I'm not so sure

don't take this the wrong way, i'm not backing out. when i said i love you, i meant it. never did it cross my mind that i'll leave you hanging while i scamper off and runaway in fear. that's the coward's way out. i think i can fairly handle this and like what i said, i really don't care what others might think. even if half the world disapproves of this, i promise not to let it get to me.

it's just that lately, i feel like i'm amidst a big battle and i have to gather all my wits around me. i have to shield myself from that big cocoon of "uncertainty" slowly creeping up and eating me inside.

i've never encountered something like this before... i'm too scared...i'm scared that after all that's been said and done, i'll be empty...

after all's been said and done

today was another holiday monday, among many others.of course, it was declared as a non-working day because one of the icons of religion died and it was expected that most people would be attending his wake and would be taking their leave from work. well, to avoid this, i think declaring it as a holiday would be appropriate neverthless

i was out with my bf again and we went off to greenhills to buy his usual supplies of cellphones and gadgets, something work-related and not habit-forming. teehee

roaming around a people infested place like GH was quite tiring and i wasn't really looking forward to going there. not to mention the occasional heavy downpour of rain which makes me beady eyed with sleep is not enough for one to just want to stay at home and under the covers. but of coure, it's a chance for me to spend quality time with bf. sure, i'd take it

while we we're outside amidst the sea of people roaming about busy spending their cash, i realized that there is never a "tinatamad, kakainis, kakairita, NR, inaantok" excuse for me when it comes to my bf. it's like i never give out any excuse not to be with him. well, it's not that bad and i do think that most of the readers out there who are in a relationship can relate to me. it's just that come to think of it, when it comes to him, i spring back to life even if it's the saddest time of the day for me.

i dunnoh, maybe it's that feeling inside me saying that i care for this person which indirectly pushes me to give that extra boost of energy or maybe it's the thought of seeing him again after a long week of hard work which makes me prop up and anticipate in happiness but whatever that is, i have to applaud myself for keeping this up

i gotta admit, the last week was literally bad for me. work was too much pressure and i almost lost my bf over some issues that we can't answer together and to top it all off, my 6 yr. old niece died not because of some chronic illness of but of dengue (this is reserve for another blog entry) and i have to say there is a truth to the saying "when it rains, it pours" and man, for me, it was quite pouring heavy beyond...heavy.

those were really big things that happened and was quite draining. i'm not even sure how things got back to how they were, but they did (somehow, except of course the part where someone died) and honestly, i am very thankful

basag na basag kahit walang ulan

I have this friend who frequently uses the word “basag” to basically describe how he feels the day after a party or a midnight cap with his barkada. He uses this term to generally refer to how he is after drinking too much or spending a lot of time with different girls and hopping from one bar to another…

Too bad I can’t use it for describing something similar although summing up all that I feel right now is actually coined in the word itself. Yup…after only 3 hours of sleep, waking up with my eyes bulging and red inside out and my head throbbing like crazy, I feel so much the same as he does.

Basag na basag ako after an ubberly long discussion with my bf last night til like 3 in the morning and honestly, in as much as I don’t want to admit it, It’s getting to me.

You know how it is in teledramas wherein the main female casts pleads earnestly for the hunky male actor to not leave her because of her unwavering love for him? This is the time where most of us squirm and say “blech” while we reach for the remote and try to surf for another channel instead.

Seeing those scenes, I’ve somehow come to the conclusion that these are purely workings of the imaginative minds of the scriptwriter who wants to evoke an “emo” moment from each of the viewers and that they are fictional in nature.

Never did I imagine that I myself would experience something like this.

To say that I stripped myself of pride and all sanity would be an understatement. I’ve done so much more in the last 24 hours and somehow I’m not even sure whether I should regret it or stand tall and not give any care.

Most of my friends know that I’m not the type to beg and plead just to get a tinge of attention but what they do know is that when I fall, I fall hard.

It’s been awhile since I’ve poured out my heartaches nor did I threw in a tantrum because of a guy and I’m not used to doing so. I think I’ve past that “pacute” stage in my life already and I never thought I’d be going back until of course...NOW...