lousiness personified

well, tis another lousy monday spent at home...oh yeah, i guess i forgot to mention, tis a long weekend coz the whole Philippines was celebrating a national holiday. yep, this is. afterall, the Philippines...where people enjoy having extra leisure time all for themselves, specially on occasions such as today.

nuf said, i spent my day loungin in my room again and talking to my "bestfriend"- my bed. if i'd known that i'll be here the whole day and be propped up and watch wwe, i should have just went to laguna with my family. they visited one of my cousins there and spent an afternoon of chikahan, daldalan and catching up. i, on the other hand, spent my time looking at the ceiling and thinking of nothing.

i waited for my bf, only to end up disappointed. i mean, seriously, i was all cheery when i woke up earlier. i had the notion that we'd be spending the rest of the day together, after his work but i guess, i was mistaken. well, add to the fact that it was already around 4pm when he dropped by, he had to tell me that our trip over the weekends would not push through, that probably made my day...as un-exciting as it became.

as much as i want to act normal and just brush it off like how i'm used to, at this point, i really can't...i can't seem to ignore the fact that i have this gnawing feeling of frustration in me. it's like having your 6th birthday party and not having cake just because... simply just because. it's been 4 hrs. since my conversation with him and it still feels like i'm stuck in between. i just hate the feeling of having to say that it's alright when i know it's not that fine yet and i hate the feeling of not negating certain issues because i know it's the right thing to do.and you know what i hate the most? it's me trying to dictate to myself that everything's going smoothly because i understand the situation that i am in...or the sitch that i chose to be in...

beats me..i'm really feeling grimy at this very instant... blech!

hackers anyone?

well, i went online just right now and to my amazement. there was a mail there asking me if I was a certain someone who's the sister of another certain someone (from the NBI pa ha). well, if it was anybody else, they would have set it off as a mis-sent email but since it's me who's been checking emails, i'd probably go ballistic on this...

so, i'm starting right this very instant.... WHAT D FUCK!

ok, ok, call me paranoid but i really do not appreciate it whenever some weird creep-o starts to send me emails or i dunnoh,probably try to add me at the ym. it all stems from the fact that i've had a bad experience on that shit already and man, i do not want to repeat it anymore, let alone,i do not have the patience to deal with freakheads who have nothing better to do but perv it out in the open.

heck, i'm not a moviestar, why would it matter to anyone on what i've been doing? my life is NOT an open book. it's plainly mine and mine alone. all i want is a sense of privacy and decency (if i may ask) and i don't get it why some people make a big deal out of me...

hello, it's not like juicy gossip when there are stuff pertaining to me. it's just me, nothing fabulous, nothing super...

what is this world coming to?

unedible plastic

i'm upset

this means, it's still ongoing...

i just hate it when some people can smile at you one time and then pass up stories when you're not looking. it's just so immature, and to think they're quite older than you are. I mean, WAYYYY OLDEERRR

the company where i work is quite ok. nothing really breath-taking, nothing special or not alot dream to be there...it's ok, fine...I guess.
For me, i'm there coz i love what i do. it's not really what i can call a "dream job" but hey, it gets me by. i get paid, i work on a nice schedule, i get benefits, fringe or what-not, my weekends are mine and i learn (somehow) from my boss.
well, the only thing that i really don't like is the fact that people inside do not have any other hobby except gossip-mongreling or tattle-telling when they could channel all their energies into something more productive. let alone my colleagues...oh, yeah, they're a different story.

they literally blow things outa proportion and make an issue out of all that's going on. their day is basically divided into complaining about how "loaded" they are with work and the rest, complaining about our boss among others. but when you actually observe them and devote your time in looking at the scope of what they're doing, it would make you wonder whether their "LOAD OF WORK" is imaginary or you, yourself are imagining... seeing them spending more of the day talking rather and facing each other for "kwento moments" than them facing their pc.

today is another chapter in my book. i have only proven that they are losers disguised as happy people who make friends with everybody. they do not really care whether i am ok or i'm doing well. they're out to get me...maybe i sound paranoid and all but no, i don't mean that they're out to get me like they're trying to catch me whatsoever. they're doing all that they can to make my life miserable

in all honesty, i would have appreciated it if they could just be blunt about it. like show it outright, that they don't like me and they have a problem with me being there but heck no, they would really smile and act like there's nothing wrong...but the awful truth of it is that they've been spreading stories about you and conjuring up issues....yup, issues that when you try to think of is very much high-school-ish.

it's like being in an episode of the OC or one tree hill...maybe the disgusting version, that is.

i mean, man, grow up. you guys are not in high school anymore, not even a froshie in college. we're all working, living our own lives and trying to make a living. i don't need anybody's affirmation, i don't need a "gang" to back me up or i don't need to be a "mean girl". all i want to do is be myself and work....work with etiquette.

the latter, i think is what's lacking in you all...you self-proclaimed " the best in the marketing department" two-faced pips...

qoute me on this "hindi kayo magaling, mga PLASTIC kayo"

bullshit!

last night

well, just to give you a glimpse of what my deleted entry was:

last night, my bf & i paid my bestfriend a visit. she cooked dinner for us kase and man, it was sumptuous.wala lang, i'm just supposed to write that finally these two important pips(in my life) met each other and everything turned out well....i mean, really, really FINE...

my bestfriend gave two thumbs up! :)

argh!

ok, just so everybody would know...i had a case of fumbles with my laptop and have clicked on something here and have OFFICIALLY DELETED my recent entry...

badtrip!

argh!!!