sometimes i wish i wasn't this way...avoiding all that's right in front of me, thinking that by doing so, everything will be erased and i'll just have a goodnight's sleep
unfortunately, it's been the 4th day that i have been "hibernating" in my room, listening to all the upbeat music that i can find and decisively hiding from the whole world...and yes, it's been day number 4 of my unending quest for sleep
in as much as i want to lie flat on my back and shut my eyes, forget a day's rundown of events, i can't seem to bring myself to do so
well, it's not like i'm thinking so much about you know what but it's just that i realized that i have been up and about because nothing's on my mind. for some miraculous reason, it's just empty...like a blank space hovering above me...admittedly, this is scary
it seems like i'm starting to get numb from everything and i'm not sure if this will be good for me or even from him..
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
relapse
yup, you're right, my life is 1 big chunk of a mess compared to yours. But you know what's funny? If I had a choice, I still won't trade it with yours
You might be equipped with all the money in this world but that doesn't cover up your sorry-ass excuse for an existence. Cash can't buy you freedom and yes, I almost forgot, your balls back...
You might be equipped with all the money in this world but that doesn't cover up your sorry-ass excuse for an existence. Cash can't buy you freedom and yes, I almost forgot, your balls back...
Sunday, March 6, 2011
sometimes...everything's just not right
well, talk about long time, no see...the last time I've actually visited this blog, MY very own blog, was like ages ago. Yet, here I am again, posting my first ever post for the year 2011.
it's been awhile since i've last seen you bloggie and alot has happened. when i say ALOT, i would mean it's more than many and I can assure you, you're in for one hella ride
honestly, i'd like to tell you everything that's going on with me right now but as of the moment, it seems like i'm lost for words and i really don't know why
maybe, it's the heat that's draining me of my energy or maybe something else, something far very complex that that I can't point my nose into
all i know that as of this very minute, i feel so empty...i feel so alone amidsts a sea of confusion and wondering....sorry, told you, my brain's no good right now, i'm just wallowing in disappointment, just bear with me
anyway, if something comes up, i'll try to visit here again and share...
for now, toodoodles!
it's been awhile since i've last seen you bloggie and alot has happened. when i say ALOT, i would mean it's more than many and I can assure you, you're in for one hella ride
honestly, i'd like to tell you everything that's going on with me right now but as of the moment, it seems like i'm lost for words and i really don't know why
maybe, it's the heat that's draining me of my energy or maybe something else, something far very complex that that I can't point my nose into
all i know that as of this very minute, i feel so empty...i feel so alone amidsts a sea of confusion and wondering....sorry, told you, my brain's no good right now, i'm just wallowing in disappointment, just bear with me
anyway, if something comes up, i'll try to visit here again and share...
for now, toodoodles!
Friday, August 13, 2010
it's been awhile
it's been awhile since i last visited my blogsite...i hardly remember the password actually and I'm thankful that I did. Thanks to a few moments of figuring out important dates or numbers...i finally cracked it and now, I'm in luck of being here and having the privilege of writing again.
after eight months of being "lost" in translation and just focusing on work, work, bf and more work... I think it's high time that I blog again. Whether it may be a short or long entry, it doesn't really matter. All that's important is that I share all the pent up emotions that I have inside...
Of course, some might say that everything is doing quite well with me and I have no issues whatsoever... Of course, I'd answer them...that's where you're wrong.
It's been an emotional ride since the start of this year and I'm still in the middle of it. I've been forced to do decisions and up to this point, I'm still at crossroads and i'm left with a turmoil of something that's building up...of what, that...I'm not yet sure of...
after eight months of being "lost" in translation and just focusing on work, work, bf and more work... I think it's high time that I blog again. Whether it may be a short or long entry, it doesn't really matter. All that's important is that I share all the pent up emotions that I have inside...
Of course, some might say that everything is doing quite well with me and I have no issues whatsoever... Of course, I'd answer them...that's where you're wrong.
It's been an emotional ride since the start of this year and I'm still in the middle of it. I've been forced to do decisions and up to this point, I'm still at crossroads and i'm left with a turmoil of something that's building up...of what, that...I'm not yet sure of...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
from AM to SAM
well, it's a sunday again and I think I owe this blog two entries at least. After all the things that are happening to me, i think, blogging here should be a rewarding way for me to de-stress somehow.
this week has been eventful as it is and to start off,one of my cousins along with her fam visited Manila again and this time,it's not for a funeral service or anything bad but really just for plain vacation. their stay here lasted only 3 days and the highlight was them going to Subic and enjoying the whole day jet-skiing. Sad to say, I didn't come along. I stayed at home and tended to the stuff that I needed to finish.
Too Bad huh? not really, i enjoyed every bit of time that I was at home. Having all my cousins gone with their children along leaves a very peaceful moment here at the house. It's not like we live in one place or anything, more like a compound and if my nieces or nephews are out playing, you can expect a whole lot of ruckus.
In any case, that basically started my whole week and somehow, the middle of it was quite ok and all went well.
Maybe, something unexpected did happen and it was during last Thursday.
I always had this notion that my usual week would just be plain busy and I'd be engrossed with work again. Not that I'm complaining. Work usually has my hands full and it keeps me from not doing anything and be up and about.
Thursday afternoon, our HR head asked me to see her in this mini-conference room near our Department. She had this really straight face and her voice was quite serious and low. I had the impression that I did something bad or I commited an offense against the Company Policy because she didn't give any hint of warmth or did not even smile at me.
When I sat down and listened to what she was saying, it was not really registering. All that was coming out of her mouth were a bunch of jumbled words and the only thing I can remember was her asking me to get a pen to sign papers...which of course, I did.
The whole scene was quite fast and it didn't even took 10 minutes. She said her piece and I signed the receiving copy of the papers and then she was out the door. Whew! Isn't that weird? Well, I think it was...
Not to mention, when I was alone and was reading the documents on my own already.... That's just when I realized that I signed papers intended for my promotion. It said about me increasing in rank, etc, etc,yada, yada...and awhole lot more.
Of course, that left a smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon or this week almost...until Bagyong Ondoy passed by...that, on the other hand, is left for another blog entry...
this week has been eventful as it is and to start off,one of my cousins along with her fam visited Manila again and this time,it's not for a funeral service or anything bad but really just for plain vacation. their stay here lasted only 3 days and the highlight was them going to Subic and enjoying the whole day jet-skiing. Sad to say, I didn't come along. I stayed at home and tended to the stuff that I needed to finish.
Too Bad huh? not really, i enjoyed every bit of time that I was at home. Having all my cousins gone with their children along leaves a very peaceful moment here at the house. It's not like we live in one place or anything, more like a compound and if my nieces or nephews are out playing, you can expect a whole lot of ruckus.
In any case, that basically started my whole week and somehow, the middle of it was quite ok and all went well.
Maybe, something unexpected did happen and it was during last Thursday.
I always had this notion that my usual week would just be plain busy and I'd be engrossed with work again. Not that I'm complaining. Work usually has my hands full and it keeps me from not doing anything and be up and about.
Thursday afternoon, our HR head asked me to see her in this mini-conference room near our Department. She had this really straight face and her voice was quite serious and low. I had the impression that I did something bad or I commited an offense against the Company Policy because she didn't give any hint of warmth or did not even smile at me.
When I sat down and listened to what she was saying, it was not really registering. All that was coming out of her mouth were a bunch of jumbled words and the only thing I can remember was her asking me to get a pen to sign papers...which of course, I did.
The whole scene was quite fast and it didn't even took 10 minutes. She said her piece and I signed the receiving copy of the papers and then she was out the door. Whew! Isn't that weird? Well, I think it was...
Not to mention, when I was alone and was reading the documents on my own already.... That's just when I realized that I signed papers intended for my promotion. It said about me increasing in rank, etc, etc,yada, yada...and awhole lot more.
Of course, that left a smile on my face for the rest of the afternoon or this week almost...until Bagyong Ondoy passed by...that, on the other hand, is left for another blog entry...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
another long weekend
as i end my Sunday and move on to another Holiday Monday, i realized that after that, it's already the 22nd of September and a few more days and October's rolling in.
I'm counting the days until the year has passed by once again and 2010 is just round the bend. Well, it's not like I'm looking forward to ending the page for 2009 but it's more of my disbelief that alot of days, months, weekends, work-days have passed right before my very eye.
I went out last night with my boyfriend. It's our usual Saturday moment together and we decided to have dinner at Metrowalk again. Well, the thing is, we needed to bring back a disfunctional dvd there to get it replaced so this led us to of course, eating there after our errand.
We checked out the newly opened "Marina" resto. When I say newly opened, it means new to my standards. Afterall, the place might have been in operation for a couple of months already and yesterday was the only time we were able to visit it. Not that we don't like hangin at metrowalk but the no. 1 tambayan in me and my bf's vocab is Eastwood.
Metrowalk is just too near to our addresses that's why we try to veer away from there and take the next farthest gimikan after that block. Besides, Eastwood has my thumbs up because I like the crowd, the ambiance, it has cinemas and after eating, you have the privilege of walking around or choosing one of the coffee joints sprawled around to chill and talk.
Back to what I was saying, Marina at Metro was ok. I originally wanted to go to Jay-Jay's but my bf was against it. Not because of bad food or anything, it's mainly coz he knows i'll be ordering kare-kare again and he really squirms whenever I do, not to mention, i try to pair this up with sizzling sisig, yum, right? i guess, he's just so used to me being preditable when it comes to ordering at Jay-jay's that's why he wanted me to pick another place instead.
This is why we ended up at there... We've been in Metrowalk alot of times and we're very familar with all the food establishments there and have actually tried each and everyone of them. The only one left is Marina.
After much deliberation of where to go to and what to order. What ended on top of our table is still Kare-kare...hehehe, ironic huh? at least, we get to pair this with rockafeller and la paz batchoy and yeah, my bf's beer below zero whatever experience...(in short, san mig light na pinalamig at pinayelo.bwahahaha!)
With this being said, you would expect that the next thing to happen is for me and my bf to munch away and leave a bunch of plates after....honestly, i think both him and me are slowly becoming bochog na talaga :)
I'm counting the days until the year has passed by once again and 2010 is just round the bend. Well, it's not like I'm looking forward to ending the page for 2009 but it's more of my disbelief that alot of days, months, weekends, work-days have passed right before my very eye.
I went out last night with my boyfriend. It's our usual Saturday moment together and we decided to have dinner at Metrowalk again. Well, the thing is, we needed to bring back a disfunctional dvd there to get it replaced so this led us to of course, eating there after our errand.
We checked out the newly opened "Marina" resto. When I say newly opened, it means new to my standards. Afterall, the place might have been in operation for a couple of months already and yesterday was the only time we were able to visit it. Not that we don't like hangin at metrowalk but the no. 1 tambayan in me and my bf's vocab is Eastwood.
Metrowalk is just too near to our addresses that's why we try to veer away from there and take the next farthest gimikan after that block. Besides, Eastwood has my thumbs up because I like the crowd, the ambiance, it has cinemas and after eating, you have the privilege of walking around or choosing one of the coffee joints sprawled around to chill and talk.
Back to what I was saying, Marina at Metro was ok. I originally wanted to go to Jay-Jay's but my bf was against it. Not because of bad food or anything, it's mainly coz he knows i'll be ordering kare-kare again and he really squirms whenever I do, not to mention, i try to pair this up with sizzling sisig, yum, right? i guess, he's just so used to me being preditable when it comes to ordering at Jay-jay's that's why he wanted me to pick another place instead.
This is why we ended up at there... We've been in Metrowalk alot of times and we're very familar with all the food establishments there and have actually tried each and everyone of them. The only one left is Marina.
After much deliberation of where to go to and what to order. What ended on top of our table is still Kare-kare...hehehe, ironic huh? at least, we get to pair this with rockafeller and la paz batchoy and yeah, my bf's beer below zero whatever experience...(in short, san mig light na pinalamig at pinayelo.bwahahaha!)
With this being said, you would expect that the next thing to happen is for me and my bf to munch away and leave a bunch of plates after....honestly, i think both him and me are slowly becoming bochog na talaga :)
Friday, September 18, 2009
"lagay"
well, today was quite tiresome and very stressful. i was in the office and i tried finishing alot of the things that were pending on my plate. needless to say, it's an ordinary work experience for lil ol me.
after work, i went straight to galleria to meet my mother. we needed to buy some stuff and had to do a bit of an early Xmas shopping. the weird part is, we ended up buying things for ourselves. talk about nice eh? hehehe
in any case, the geist of this whole blog entry is that today marked my first ever time to get caught by the police in Ortigas...and my violation was quite complex. it was obstruction because i didn't turn left on a supposed left turn and this fucked up black isuzu crosswind was cutting me. of course, if you were the vehicle at my back, you'd do the same thing. afterall, i was running a 20 on my speedometer. slow huh? well, i'm just trying to be careful. besides, there are lots of crazy drivers out there.
to sum it up, the person who caught me wanted me to pay a fine of P500 because of my said violation and i had to plead for him not to get my license. not because i'm afraid of showing this in my driver's records or what (believe me, i already have one and the worse part is that it's in Makati)it's mainly because i do'nt want the hassle that comes along with this. like getting your license from the LTO office...the effort of going there really is shitty. so, in all cuteness and perkiness, i was joking around with this traffic enforcer and he let me off the hook. of course, that comes with the corresponding "o sige pagusapan na nga lang natin to" phrase coming out of him.
i agreed and you know what the funny part is? i gave him a "lagay" of only P20. geez, the lengths that people in uniform go to, just to earn extra. now, i realized that it indeed is RECESSION...
after work, i went straight to galleria to meet my mother. we needed to buy some stuff and had to do a bit of an early Xmas shopping. the weird part is, we ended up buying things for ourselves. talk about nice eh? hehehe
in any case, the geist of this whole blog entry is that today marked my first ever time to get caught by the police in Ortigas...and my violation was quite complex. it was obstruction because i didn't turn left on a supposed left turn and this fucked up black isuzu crosswind was cutting me. of course, if you were the vehicle at my back, you'd do the same thing. afterall, i was running a 20 on my speedometer. slow huh? well, i'm just trying to be careful. besides, there are lots of crazy drivers out there.
to sum it up, the person who caught me wanted me to pay a fine of P500 because of my said violation and i had to plead for him not to get my license. not because i'm afraid of showing this in my driver's records or what (believe me, i already have one and the worse part is that it's in Makati)it's mainly because i do'nt want the hassle that comes along with this. like getting your license from the LTO office...the effort of going there really is shitty. so, in all cuteness and perkiness, i was joking around with this traffic enforcer and he let me off the hook. of course, that comes with the corresponding "o sige pagusapan na nga lang natin to" phrase coming out of him.
i agreed and you know what the funny part is? i gave him a "lagay" of only P20. geez, the lengths that people in uniform go to, just to earn extra. now, i realized that it indeed is RECESSION...
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