torn between two...job offers?

if you actually read the title of this entry, you'd probably think that I got two job offers and I'm torn between which one to choose...on the contrary, I've only got one and the other one is still left in limbo. Call it weird but I still find myself lingering on my "first choice" and I'm not budging an inch to free myself of this total bewilderment. If only Philippine companies have systems that are congruent to foreign ones, then I wouldn't be in this predicament. Oh yeah, sure, now, I'm even blaming corporate culture for this so called misery. A misery which I actually created on my own...

Some people who hear me continuously wailing in this blog at this exact instant about getting a job offer that I'm not sure about would probably ask me "Then why did you apply there in the first place?" or would just plain slap me senseless by being such a stickler for perfection. Some call this stupidity, I call it "security". I'm the type of person who has a plan, in everything I do, that is. Can you believe that I even plan the time on when I want to go to the mall or when to I have to go out with my friends. I usually have an iterenary on what I intend to do in the next week, heck, sometimes, the whole of next month. I just can't stand not knowing on what will happen next or what I'll be doing. In all that's happening around me, I always want to have the upper hand. I want to be sure, I do not want to be left in the dark and be clueless. That is where "contingency plans" fall into place.

Some thrive in spontaneity, others in dynamism. I, on the other hand, tend to be structured. Hey, rigidity isn't a crime. It's more like plain discipline being processed in the human form. You would probably infer that I do embody this in the choices that I have been making lately. Take the case of this entry's core subject...I am torn, yes, I am.

Maybe this is because of the fact that I did receive a job offer today and half of me is stillin pining for my other choice. I honestly do no know why I am being this way but all I know is that I can't stop myself from somehow, hoping against all hope that I get that other one too