finally...

and when the mist has subsided from the cloudy horizons that have painstakingly haunted my awareness is gone, all that is left is utter bewilderment

this week has been pure agony and torture for me, i could actually say that i've had a glimpse of hell in my sleep and uncertainty in my moments of waking up.for the very first time in my life, i've tasted "bittersweet' in its purest form and was given a slap from reality. i can't say it was quite fun but what i do know is that it has left me with a lesson that is imprinted on my being...a lesson learned and forever will be cherished

enough being said, the actuality that life is not fair does ring a bell but if i try to review it in the precedent i've encountered lately, i would have to negate this

life is definitely fair...i was given a glimpse of life's little piece of complication and yet the whole experience made me realize that i am such a lucky bastard.despite the problems and issues that was looming "above my head' previously,i have tons of people who love me and are willing to lend an open hand for my sense of security.i may not be lucky to be born with a sibling who can be there whenever i'm down and out but i'm very much blessed to have my dudes, dudettes, chong, pre, kumarez,friendships who'd be there to cover my back every time i need it. and so to you guys who have so lovingly given me advice, protected me, nagged me, made me kwento, made me sermon, worried over me (sometimes worry more than me), offered to help me in my times of trial and even offered me to stay at their place for the meantime (teehee), I THANK YOU... you guys have shown me what true friendship really is and i'm not just talking about those comic book descriptions but the REAL thing. thanks b1, mader cha,kumareng abbe, ms di, reins and dencio. seeing how you took care of me, showed me that i have so much to live for

and to the biggest friend that i have, i share this same sentiment. you might be my boyfriend, my lover, my ka-gimik or even my hot little "sexpot" (wink, wink, hehehe) but more than anything else, i treat you as one of my closest friends ever. you have shown me that there is another world out there where happiness truly resides and where imperfections are not a measure of one's being. you have shown me what L-O-V-E means in every bit of the word, sure, i might not have any comparison yet but i don't think i'll be needing it anymore. i can feel it in my heart that i have found what i have been searching for a long time...and at the back of my head, i can hear that it's you

for all the headaches i have recently caused, i would like to apologize. i am grateful for all the support, patience and understanding that you have showered me. i may not always show or say how much i care but deep down, i feel so much for you...i hope that in the times that we share, somehow i have gotten that message across. I LOVE YOU so much c.c.s.