i was supposed to blog last night but it never did push through because I finished talking to my bf at almost 2 in the morning already...
it's a long story but to cut it short, needless to say, we had a huge fight. as in to the point of splitting up and parting our ways kinda fight ah. everything was really tough but i'm now happy coz we actually patched things up and he's in Zambales right now partying the night away and i'm here at home moping around COZ IM MISSING HIM LIKE CRAZY (crap, sweetie, if you do not bring me 1 kaing of mangga as pasalubong,lagot ka sakin!!!!grrrr...)
well, just in case, you're all wondering why the title of this blog is set as "unfinished entry", there's a very good explanation for it. i have composed something already and was about to end my piece yesterday when my boyps suddenly decided to call me and say sorry for being a jacka**, so as it turned out, i didn't get to post my REAL entry for last night. just for the heck of it and since i feel like i need to put justice to my writing prowress, i'm actually still posting it here...so, my beloved readers, co-bloggers or my one and only fan, my bestfriend, enjoy reading:
I TRIED...YOU FAILED ME...
all i wanted was for you to let me in but all i got was a tight lip answer of "wala" which drove me around the bend and beyond my patience...
i know you too well, for me not to know that something's up and you're bothered crazy yet you chose the path of keeping it to yourself, leaving me behind the wall of defenses that you've built
for crying out loud, i'm your girlfriend. I AM NOT THERE TO JUDGE YOU. On the contrary, I'm here to listen and understand each and every moment that you feel down and whenever you think that everybody has abandoned you
this night has turned into the usual scenario of phone receivers' clicking and the murmurs of "bye" hardly heard over the ruckus of dogs barking in the background and it has left me really exhausted. i've shown you how persistent I am in trying to help you sort out your thoughts and share them with me but time and again, you have denied me that privilege of showing you how much i care. you chose to shoulder things,ALONE...
you texted me how things aren't going your way and that the last thing you'd wanna hear is a tale on other people's success, how would have I known that me telling stories on what happened during my whole day would be nightmare for your ears? i am merely being my same old, bubbly, energetic self and what do i get? a flat breathe of air on the other line
as much as i want to help you, you better start helping yourself...
nobody's asking you to be perfect. i am not. this world is already filled with less than perfect humans trying to act like mr. or ms. know-it-all. we do not need another one. what we need is someone who's true and someone who can be himself...what i need is someone i know...someone whom i can be with
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2 comments:
Talaganag special mention pa ko ah;p
That's a tough one...huge fight...hmmm...we do have those eventhough we already been together for almost 5 years already...I also cannot forget one incident that he walked out and I was in tears, waiting for him...
Sometimes, I do tend to lock up myself and hide my emotions and at those instances, I am finding myself alone, once more...that even if I have my family, Thon and my friends, in the end, it's me, myself and I. (Kinda dramatic here.)
Anyways, sometimes silence is better than speaking out. Sometimes, I rather think first before telling what's on my mind. It's like being careful with what I say or else, I'll hurt somebody. At times, when in silence, you see things clearly or somehow you get a grasp of the general picture. It's not that I am justifying that it's better to be silent and not share at all rather let things mellow down, give space but at the same time, let him know that you are there if he's ready to talk. Also, one of you should be calm...
Pahabol ;)
Date ng Entry mo is our 58th Monthsary :)
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