there comes a point in your life that you have to make decisions and whatever twists or turn you do, you still can't figure out what the right thing to say is.
maybe this type of situation is happening to me now and yet i refuse to acknowledge that small tiny voice in my head that says that there is indeed a problem
though how many times i tried to ignore it and keep my eyes shut. there is still that gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomache which shoots up into my gut when the notion of "breaking up" rises at the surface
call me a coward and i'll prolly admit it without batting an eyelash. if by "coward" you mean like someone trying to hold on to their love one because of too much feeling coiled up inside to the point of selfishness...yup, i guess that's me right at this very minute
i had another argument with my boyfriend and maybe earlier was a tad too much for me to handle. in most relationships, there are moments when bf-gfs do fight about certain issues. whether it be BIG, small, non-existent or even petty. there really is that certain day where you have to bicker at each other just to get a sense of fulfillment that you've actually made that special someone gasp in exasperation
today was no exception. it was supposed to be the happiest day of my life because i got my car from the seller already but of course, that was in the afternoon. the night turned out to be far worse
as usual, it slipped his mouth that he had this discussion with his mom again and of course, i was the center of the topic. not directly but rather somewhat connected to me...or so it seems...
how would you feel if your bf's mom pops out a sarcasm which says "hoy _____, ayus-ayusin mo nga yang buhay mo!" which doesnt refer to anything else in his personal life but only just silently wants to rub on the topic of his gf who happens to be Filipina and a nobody...
sad right?
i'm not here to point fingers nor to look for people who would sympathize. i'm simply here to share because as much as i want to talk to my very bestfriend and spill all the hurt, anger, frustration and confusion that's eating me up inside while i'm typing this blog entry...I CAN'T....
coz he's the very same person who shut the door earlier and who wanted to break up with me...
ironic isn't it?
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